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Life Bite: Make it Happen, Make the Change

Short and sweet message: If you want something, make it happen. If you don’t like something, change it.


It’s the approach I take to life, and it needs no real explanation and I don’t need to give direction here.

Are you unhappy? Okay, now look at your life…why are you unhappy? Who/what makes you feel bad. Who/What don’t you like. Who/What don’t you need?

Now you’ve identified the root, change it. If you don’t like something then change it. Your job? change it, find a new one, find what you love. You don’t like your partner, well, do I need to tell you what to do there? You have a ‘friend’ or person in your life who makes you unhappy? Say good-bye. You want to do something? Do it.

It’s simple. Mostly.

Okay, I accept that there are things we can’t change and we can’t just up and quit jobs, ditch people, completely change our lives and ourselves at the drop of a hat, but there is always SOMETHING you can do.

Okay, you hate your job, but you can’t just QUIT. Start looking at other options, maybe do some evening classes or go back to school to train in something you really want to do so that EVENTUALLY, you can quit that job you hate and start doing what you love.

This is the model and the method. It may not be easy, it may not always be quick and simple, but there is always something you can do and if something isn’t right in your life, then you CAN and you SHOULD change it.

If you want something bad enough, you will make it happen. Maybe it will take 5 minutes, maybe it will take 5 years, maybe it will even take a lifetime but if you don’t try for it, you’ll never get it. Always strive for what you want and that is how you will be the best you can be.

Life is short, happiness is what the ultimate goal of a life is (I believe). If you can get to the end of your life and say you are happy and have been happy through your life, then I believe that is as good as any other achievement of a lifetime. Happiness is the ultimate goal. So make it happen. You are not powerless, you own yourself and your life. So take control, take charge and own it!


Friday Bite: The Importance of Being Selfish…


I read an article in Red yesterday about how to be a good mum, you need to be selfish sometimes and when my flatmate got home yesterday evening she told me she’d ended things with her boyfriend.

It was a fairly new relationship, but she’s not had many relationships before and I think it was quite a big deal for her (whatever she might say), but anyway, he’s been a little ill recently but over the last few weeks he’s been completely MIA. No texts, not answering phone calls – zilch. She got the train up to see him at home last week and it seemed to improve things; she discussed the lack of communication and he seemed to understand, but for the last week and a half, she’s not heard a peep and has done her best to get hold of him, short of turning up on his doorstep again.

Anyway, she ended it and it made me think back to the article in Red. I think we all need to be a bit selfish in our lives to be the best we can be, to ourselves and to others around us.

I’ve always tried to be true to myself and have worked on the mantra; “If you feel something, it’s the truth.” By this I mean, if you feel like doing something, then it’s probably what you should do…if you feel like NOT doing something, then don’t do it etc. Obviously this is within reason…we can’t just go about our lives doing whatever we want whenever we want to, but for the most part I try to do what feels right…in whatever context.

Remember the ‘Yes Man’? I’m fully in support of the ‘say yes to everything’ thesis, but I take it a slightly different way. I say: “Say yes to yourself!” – If someone asks you to go somewhere or do something and your gut reaction is ‘yes’, then say ‘yes’ – not to them, but to yourself. Likewise if someone invites you out or to an event and your instinct is to say ‘no’ then say ‘yes’ – to yourself!

“Saying yes to saying no” may sound like a bizarre, complex way of looking at things, but I’m all for saying yes to whatever fancy strikes you or whatever instinct takes hold, even if that means you have to say no. Have you ever been on a night out with friends and reached the point where you just want to go home? – I’m sure everyone has – but you’ve carried on through peer pressure, guilt, a feeling of duty etc. and therefore had a miserable night after? Well I take these instances and say; If your body and mind say you want to go home…just say yes to them! Go home and you’ll have had a better experience in the end.

The article recalled Airline emergency procedures; Always secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. This is because if you don’t do whats best for you, how can you be of any use to anyone else?

If you spend your life living for others and doing things you don’t want to do, you’re not going to have a very fulfilled life. If you’re not a little selfish now and then, and do what’s right for you, you’re not going to be the best person you can be, and really, is that good for anyone?

So go on, sometimes it’s ok to be selfish!

Monday Bite: Start Right!

Nobody likes Mondays, me least of all.alarm

The weekend’s over and it’s back to the drudgery of the week all over again! But I find that if I treat each Monday like a little new beginning, it gets me through the day and sets me up for the week.

I guess what I mean is, I try to start as I mean to go on. If I can do Monday right then I find that the rest of the week follows in the same way.


I get up on time – now I’m naturally a pretty early riser already, but still, 6am is pretty painful. I have to be at work at 8:30am and need to leave just over an hour for the commute (It normally takes less time, but London transport…) and I HATE HATE HATE to rush around in the morning; it stresses me out for the whole day – another even smaller beginning! – so I need to give myself an hour and a half to shower and get ready and eat breakfast etc.

So, up at 6am, into the shower and it’s cold here now, so getting back out isn’t fun either! Slap on a bit of makeup, do my hair, get dressed and get upstairs (my flat is upside down) for breakfast!

Which brings me to yet another ‘start right’ moment: Breakfast.

I know so many peoplebreak skip breakfast altogether, but you need to eat within an hour of getting up to kick start your metabolism and really get you going for the day. I never miss breakfast, and I always make sure it’s balanced, healthy and NOT RUSHED…nobody wants to start their day with indigestion…

So some toast with Jam – yummy! And some fruit with yoghurt and a sprinkling of cereal (or melon, strawberries, cocopops and yanilla yoghurt, which doesn’t sound or look as good as that picture..!) Nice BIG cup of coffee and I’m set for the day.

Brush my teeth, grab my things and I’m out the door. On a positive note.

It’s really all about starting well for me, if I start something I like to finish it and so I find that if I start something on a good note then I tend to end it on a good note as well. So if I start my day well, and in a positive way (there’s something to be said for sitting down with the radio on and enjoying your breakfast every day) then I tend to take that through with me to the evening. I’m productive, I get through my work and I’m in a happy and positive mood.

I think you should start every week – every day even – in the way you mean to go on. It’s a new beginning, it’s a fresh start and you know, if you start right, you end right.